Wednesday, August 22, 2007

See you in the stars`

I have not cried since i was in primary 5. Today i cry...because of you.

This writing is especially for you my brother, may you rest in peace.

I write it bigger than i always do because you once told me everything was so hard to read.

Astley Wong Kok Kheong...the brother i found and spend my days everyday with for the past two years. Who not only taught me to stand strong in the working world, but a profound friend i found who understands me well. Respect my decisions, support my passion...brings me back down to earth everytime i start to drift apart.

My only regret, only two days back you asked me for some time and laughter, being alittle self-centered i told you, "wednesday i can la, today not so". Who would have known i'll never see you laugh again.

Today when i got the news from weilin when she called me, i almost wanted to scold her for playing around. She said soundly to me, "Maday don't be shock...Astley passed away". After knowing she was serious, i said NO and there i just broke down. I never need a reason to cry...or had a reason to i had every reason.

How could it be...i haven't had enough of you...every single day i see you for two years...when everyone else have gone home...we will sit in the office and do our work...share good food, laugh at each other. I was sorry i left you and the dream we shared for the work we do early this year to pursue my other interest...and yet you supported me knowing things will be different. You always tell me, do what you want...experience everything you want to you can see the world for yourself. It's good to have you to tell me what you think when i think i have turn a wrong direction...cos it makes me move further to find my main road again.

Thank you for taking care of me during the Thailand trip last year....when everyone got lost...I was all safe and on par because you were there. We talked about you bringing me to Ipoh and checkout your hometown....eating satay celop in malacca...all those things we wanted so much to do but never had the time.

When my grandma passed away i didn't cry, cos i guess i was too young to understand why. I wish i had cos she was there for me all seven years. Crying not because of sadness, but because of respect and love. Today i cry because of respect and friendship, and i know i owe it to you.

My dad was shock, mum shock and sad...because they know how good and experience rider you are, but more importantly how good a person you are. I know death is the destination we all are heading towards, but i would have wished for you to go in a better and calm way. That's the least a good-hearted person deserve. But again we deserve nothing, God plans all our fate and destiny. No matter what race we are or what religion we belong to...we can only pray for our journey to be forgiving and well.

For you, I hope you had more joy and happiness around us and the people who makes your life worthwhile, despite all the ugly side of life you went through. May you rest in peace,


moved from Starfish blog dated 15/08/2007